Those Who Wish To Sing Always Find A Song

Hey everyone,I know it's been a long time since I've updated my blog. Well, the reasons were due to upcoming final exams(it's over now) and the lagging wifi connection in my college,well eventually they blocked facebook and all.....Youtube was blocked way before that(IKR!!!)....well guess what? ITS ALL IN THE BIN NOW!!! MATRICULATION LIFE HAS FINALLY REACHED A HALT on the 26th of April 2012(fulllstoppppppppppp)...phewww....I dont have to suffer anymore...well it was a worthy experience though and I'm really glad I entered matrics because there's so muchhhhhhhhh I've learned....haha remember I told you guys that I would be blogging about my life in matrics??...well I will of course but not according to chronology. I will be inserting snippets of what happened to me there under major titles regarding myself and as you can see, the title for today is about.....SINGING! haha...and yes I will be bragging about it now...so listen!! I loveeeeeee to sing!!! Haha.. I dunno whuuaaiiiii but there's always that strong urge to sing whenever there's a song playing either in my phone, in the car, in the radio, in the malls, etc...but don't imagine me going all crazy in the mall, grabbing microphones and La Carlotta my wayyyy through it..NAWW!!! I sing it to myself laa..pfftt!!! HAHA...but I have been having a problem...MY VOICE IS SO WAY DEEP!!! T_T....ARGHH!!!!! it kills my bursting singing spirit to have a toad voice...well not exactly toad la..its nice when I sing WITHOUT THE HELP OF A MICROPHONE...Microphones are such killerss they drown my voice and makes it go even deeper...lol... not to mention I already have enough on my plate thank you!!!....and since I always sing girlsss songgg....I tend to reach higher notess wayy crossing the line of my vocal range...and then my voice breaks....I hate it when my actual head voice  could not really follow the tune of the song...Im always off-tune!! SO much problems..and yet I wanna sing...ok the most dangerous and the bravest thing I had done was to join the Talent Competition in JMC!! O_______O!! arghhhh I did regrettt itttt...butttt arghh ok let me insert the snippet of what happened!(Notice the so many 'arghhhss' which means it was a nightmare)OK the first singing competition held in college was the Voice Out Aloud Competition organised by the Science Department and ...I think in collaboration with the English Unit as well (not sure). I did not take part in it because...actually there's been a whole lotta activities going on during the Science Week but I was totally ignorant about any of it..so yeahh! And then I went to watch the contestants sing on the stage..ok what's so different about this competition is that..the lyrics must all have scientific terms...it cannot be the original song..one of my friend Miss Naqibahh chose Teenage Dreams(Katy Perry) and changed the lyrics to terms that is related with photosynthesis, glucose, oxygen and water. It was a good piece of work and the song turned out great...so I was in the audience and I watched every single one go up on stage and sang like superstarss...we(me and my friends) cheered for every single contestants..tak kisahlahh whether they sing good or bad...but most of them were goodlah...Fong Shelhiel my other friend won the competition and I had to admit he deserved it...He composed his own song titled Biodiversity! It was so cool I could keep singing it all day! haha his voice was superr nicee..well its his game la...he is all into this singing, composing and all this cool stuffs..he sings in concerts and all I think ..I think he gets invitation to come and sing at places ..something like that...so yeah he knows his stuff...so actually I kinda regret a tinyy lil bit that I didn't enter..but nevermindlaa!!!And then the second and last singing competition JMC GOT TALENT 2012 was held.....well ergh...actually i have very veryyy low self esteem laa...kept thinking "Does my voice sound great?".....all the time..my poor friends were interrogated by me...pity! So I decided (afterrrrrrrrrrr muchhhhhhhhhhh thinkinggggggg and grumblinggggggg) to enter and the auditions were two days after I registered! Greatlahh..I registered for both solo and a duet with Naqibah! GREEDY MUCH!!....arghhh I didnt know what to do okayy...so i practiced the "Two Is Better Than One"(Boys Like Girls ft Taylor Swift)...awww GOSH!!!!!!! that song was so harddd on my voicee....i struggled a lot, I tell you to reach the notes and to keep myself in tune....meletoplaaa!!!...for the solo category, I was planning to sing "Skyscraper"(Demi Lovato). Seelahhh dahlah that demi sings as if her voice is coming out of her nostrils or sumthin...and my vocal range certainly kept me from hitting the high notes....I didnt know what possessed me to enter(or to choose that song)..but it was too late to regret and auditions came!!....My turn was number 10!....I have one of my other good friends in it too. Her name is Nurlisa Azizul (everyone calls her Lisa) and she has a band called Summer In September...HER SINGING I TELL YOU!!!!! YOU CAN DIE OF HAPPINESS LISTENING TO HER VOICE!!! It was the embodiment of a young Adele and coincidentally she sang "Someone Like You"(Adele) on that day without accompanied by music!! OH GAWSHHHH!!! IF EVERYONE WAS BLIND, THEY WOULD HAVE THOUGHT ADELE WAS IN THAT HALL THAT NIGHT!!!...awwww!!! i wishedddd i could sing like her la.....T_T...then my turn came. STUPID MICROPHONE IT DROWNED MY VOICE!!!....dahlah singing skyscraper and the background music was so slow i couldnt hear it and couldnt keep up with it..so i was both OFFKEY and OFFTUNE that night!! WOW!! (STANDING OVATION!) I just embarassed myself..and after I was done I was praying for the judges to not pick me!..worst night of my life.Perioddd!!!And guess what? I WAS THE TOP 5 FINALIST IN THE SOLO CATEGORY to compete in the finals! Ok the [caps lock] was due to disappointment not exhilaration! DIELAAAAAA...the lecturers gave me another chance to embarass myself...and this time in front of the whole college!!!! So okay...I tried to be positive...they wouldn't make me the finalist if i did sound  bad right??? So in the finals..I was planning to sing old songs...you know like Disney kinda songs...Elton John....John Lennon..Bryan Adams...but I eventually picked a song "We Are One" from Lion King 2...remember?? it was a very nice song...not evergreen but i felt peaceful hearing it...and I could certainly reach the notesss...so I downloaded the song and wrote down the lyrics.(Thanks Sangari for lending me your laptop and broadband! ^ ^) I started memorising! Then at one point several days later, Fong (now the emcee of JMC Got Talent) came up to me and told me to change my song to something more energetic and lively...a song where everyone can sing along together with me...=.="..come on lahh...I already have offtune and offkey issues...I couldn't reach Bruno Mars's note....let alone Adam Levine's....haih..this is going to take a toll on me....I couldn't even change the keys from the original song to suit my voice coz I don't know how to play instruments..so you see..Im a noob at this...! T_T..haha so the struggles and the embarassment..grr....I didn't concentrate on my studies at all...I was left out in so many topiccs...and finalss were coming nearer! greatlahh..Only God knows what I went thru...the last minute song changing....and all...what i finally sang on the real day was "Watcha Say" by Jason Derulo. =.=" It ws quite hard to hit the high notes but damnnlaa!!! There was a full dress rehearsal two days before the real competition...and my turn was last! Omg when I sang We Are One...everyone gave a "=_____=" face it was so embarassing!...Then my friends, Naqibah, Lisa, and Khairun rushedd to the stagee and asked me to change the song to Skyscraper..the one I sang during auditions...actually Skyscraper was way better but there were some parts where i couldnt hit the high notes....Im sure you've heard the song before and Lisa said even girls couldn't hit that note but she said boys probably could...I DONT KNOW WHATS WRONG WITH MY VOICE!!! It was fine at first but then it started getting deeper and all........felt like cryingggg arghhh...but I didnt la...I mean something I'm so passionate about doing...but circumstances and my own VOICE is against me! So the BIG DAY came...and when it was my turn...I shivered to death...grrr.....I finally sanglahh...realising that my voice did break at one point...lol embarassing.....and then MEI MEI came up stage and gave me a small bouquet of flowers...thanks meimei!!! I couldnt even appreciate that since I was obsessed with the faults of my voice...well when it was all over...I was so relieved....i promised I would never sing again!! But my friend NAVEEN encouraged me to keep singing....he told me to compose my own song where my voice wouldn't be comparable to anyone...you see if u start singing someone else's song they would start comparing your voice with the original singer's! My bestie NASH did help me so much to overcome this...he gave me motivation and super encouragement. I was bugging him all the time while he was preparing for his finals which was just around the corner!! SORRY NASH!! But he still managed to motivate me!! THANKS BESTIE!!! haha....so I really wanted to sing so much and I'll see to what depths of the ocean I could  put my efforts to improve my singing! Hoping for the best!

Till my next post..............Ciaoo!!!

What goes around COMES back around!!!

Heyya people....I know its been longg.....oh yeah..if any of you read my previous post about these JPA fellas ar.....please erase all the positive things I said bout them ar....cause I got possessed at that time..so I was talking crap!!! haha....JPA should be burned down like permanentlyyyyy.......Omigod....yes I didnt get JPA scholarship...I repeat.. DIDNT get JPA scholarship. Well I was devastated at first, no doubt bout that...but I would have recovered earlier IF they gave the scholarships to those who gt 8A+ and above who really deserved them..but NAAAWWWWW!!!!!! They gave them to people who GOT 4A+'sand 5A+'s.....and wait wait.......heres the best part........some guy or girl in Sarawak got the scholarship to do Medicine in India. Wanna know her results.....???? Hahahaa.................2A+!!!!!! freakinnnnn 2A+????? WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT ABOUT????? Good for the governement......I quote beyonce "What goes around comes back around!!" Just you wait you government idiots!!! Your time will come...COUNT ON IT!!!

Ok less talk bout JPA....lets continue....lives could be happier without them anyways...lol! So.....I am currently in Johor Matriculation College. I'l talk about JMC on an entire new post. I am doing foundation in pure science there....yup Physics is back...together with chemistry, biology and mathematics...! Haha......but you know what...I love all these 4 subjects soooooo much!!!..hehe so no regrets there...!!!.....I miss my secondary school friends so muchhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!....................EVERYONE.!!!.huhuhu....................I congratulate those who got JPA....like min yi, san wei, zcho en, wei zhuang and many more....u guys really deserved it!!! Keep up the good work guys.......dont stop until there.....make Ibrahim proud!! same goes to me too......after what happened to me....during my SPM days....I call it my ZAMAN GELAP!.....really........now that I have got up again...I will fight till the end to achieve my dreams...HALTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I still dont know what I'm gonna be..........haihhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!

Till the next post y'all.....bubye

JPA Interview 2011

Hey guys....its getting hotter day by day..I don't know whats wrong with Mother Earth....people are just spending more time in air-conditioned places like malls, indoors...bla bla....!! Ok, my interview....it was on the 12th of April!...Time..*checks watch*.....ouh ok 4.35pm.....and I was FRIGGIN NERVOUS!!! You cant say I really looked forward to this day coz....erm...well...I dunno why....but I was just not ready to face the interviewers....hmmm...maybe because its my first time...ok... Attires: For the handsomes: 1. Firstly you guys have to wear white long-sleeved shirt....button the sleeves..dont roll it up....next black slacks....SLACKS! not jeans or SHORTS!!! Pleaselah..you're going to an interview which is OFFICIAL....people from the Government will be there so..faham-fahamlah....unless you're plain old retarded...well..God Bless Ya! Alright....a TIE is a must ok!! In my opinion, choose a tie colour which matches the tone of your skin and your white shirt...if you're fair like our CHILESE friends out there...i would suggest blue or maybe purple or red tie.....if you're semi-fair...like me...haha.....well..I wore a silvery-black tie...which really popped-out my skin colour....and if you're dark(Hey I'm not racist and I'm an Indian...so it doesnt matter if you're dark ok..thats an Indian trademark)...well..you could either wear grey or..urmm...maybe red...see lah...which tie colour suits you ok! But a tie is a must..Ok now I'll touch about Blazers..... oklah frankly speaking a blazer is not really necessary....because when I went to the place...I'm the only Pulun who wore blazer.....but pulun or not pulun, look at the bright side...you'll exude a professional look...which..who knows might give you a teeny bit of extra points for personality..Hey I'm just saying..I dont know...it doesnt hurt to wear a blazer does it...??? Just wear lah...show the interviewers you mean business! And please wear black shoes that does the weird kind of (clap clap) or (ngek ngek) sound...haha...the carpets are gonna muffle those sounds anyway...! Just do it ok!...No questions....and polish it over night so it will Sparkkklleeeee!!!! For the ladies: All the ahmois, lengluis and all the pretties out there.....please wear Baju Kurung!!!! If you're not Bumiputera its ok!! Dont be a racist ok! Its 1Malaysia.....just wear baju kurung and just like ties, find a colour of the baju kurung that pops-out your skin tone....for example: my friend Tan Sher Lin wore a bright orange baju kurung and it was really dazzling...and emanated her fair tone...so pandai pandai choose lo....you're girls right..you know more about stuff like this than guys!...Ok if you want to wear blazer..its ok kut...but a blazer on top of baju kurung would look weird lah..if u really wanna wear baju kurung then change your attire...to a long-sleeved top..and a skirt(the skirt can be touching the floor or just exceeds your knee level, whichever would be fine). And please larr...your hair arr.....minimise the clips la...you're not going to Kesha's Cannibal concert ok! Just minimise the clips, make sure your hair doesnt look...messylah...and wear perfumes la...haha kan the room there will be air-conditioned so the perfume particles will spread around the room and make people happy!!!(err...ok you can forget the last line). Gals...about your shoes...I'm not very sure...but I know you must wear shoes...dont go wear flip-flops or sandals ok!! and please dont spoil your feminine image by looking like a whore! Seriously! i think for our Malay friends out there...since their wearing tudung right..so I think wearing a blazer would not look weirdlah...wear baju kurung, tudung and a blazer..yeahh!!! Preparation: 1. make sure you are totally prepared before you go for an interview!...You know,if you are successfully called for the interview, you'll get a surat panggilan temuduga rite? Print that out..and you'll see that a list of must-brings will be provided at the 2nd or 3rd page..! FOLLOW THAT LIST! Dont pandai2 go do your own....buy a clear holder file preferably green or blue......arrange every single crap they ask you to bring accordingly...they will check you know! If you arrange not accordingly to the list given, or if some important documents missing or you "I forgot to bring!"...., or you didnt CERTIFY any of the documents that you must certify...then I say you better go home and sleep la!...zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz..................seriously...this shows you do not obey and that is soo not professional! Marks will be given for that too...so I warn you ready ar...and dont go and certify all your certs at the last minute ok....the only documents that you must certify last minute are like your SPM slip, your sijil berhenti sekolah and all that....the ones you get after you receive your results! The one you receive before your results....like your sijil koko and all that....you better go certify during the 2 months holidays that you have...instead of just doing nothing at home, take that time to go certify! Every one will rush at the last minute..so take heed of my advice...everyone will be happy!! HEHE.... 2. Ok make sure you be in the interview place half and hour before your interview time....but its better to go an hour before...safer...because arr....lets say you dont know the place...you would have to waste your time asking pedestrians, making phone calls, pusing here, pusing there,....there'll be tension in the car....isnt it bad enough that we're already nervous thinking about the interview and we dont need all these last minute tensions to add-on! Trust me...ok if you already find your interview place....go inside professionally...ceyyyy...just walk like you've never walked before and talk like you've never talked before!! Put your head up high, walk straight and all that lah...try to be the perfect man or lady for a day! FOR A DAY ONY LARR!!!.....ok then you will enter a room where no parents are allowed...haha...then some guys who are in-charge there will help you locate the panel you'll be in........you must sign your name on a paper which will be stuck on a board to a wall....Just find your name...ok where is it?? where is it???? BINGO! you found it.....contoh lah:..PANEL 1 (Taylor Swift, Beyonce, Kanye West, Jessie J and Whitney Houston)..if your name is Whitney Houston then sign at the end of your name...then go sit down...in your place....! Actually during my interview in Alor Setar, there were three to four rooms in a row...lets say Room 1 is for Panel 1... so everyone from Panel 1 must sit down together facing Room 1...and same goes to other Panels......ok lets say if you already find Taylor, Beyonce and Kanye sitting there..go TALK to them lah!!! come on....lah dont be passive...they would feel the same thing like you lah...NERVOUS!!..so why dont you all ease the tension by talking to each other....at least you can communicate better when you are inside the room. Just introduce yourself "Hey , I'm Whitney. Whitney Houston"....they'll be like "OMG!! Its whitney."dont start your singing and vibrato there ok..memalukan saja...hahaha......Tell them and ask them to help each other out during the interview and such...at least you wont feel nervous lah...I was in Panel 1...there was supposed to be four in Panel 1 but one of them could not make it..so only three of us..Me and two malay girls from Sultanah Asma school in Alor Setar..they were so damn friendly...it didnt take long for us to introduce ourselves....so those cold butterflies in my stomach actually evaporated!....One of the girls applied for Medicine like me, and the other one Pharmacy...ok dont get shocked....not all taking the same course will enter the same room! NO!...they will mix you up..for example...five person in a group..two may choose medicine, another two..dentistry and one pharmacy....so you guys are a team regardless of your courses of choice..!! There will be another in-charge sitting in front of the room..he will ask for your clear holders....and all..that guy is the one whos gonna check whether evrything is done as instructed. He will then give you number tags which indicates your turn.....then you wait until he ask you to enter the room! 3. Ok before you enter the room, knock first arrr.....show your manners....then just look at them (eye contact is important) and say (in my case) Good Evening doctors!!! YESS.....my interviewers were ALL DOCTORS!.....there were three interviewers...a Malay Lady Doctor..she's the chief! And two male doctors, an Indian and a Malay....so anyone choosing MEdicine horrrrr....better know your facts and dont go crap out some crap in front of them,then they "shoot" you teruk2. We were not allowed to shake hands because the in-charge outside the room said this was not an interview to apply for work, so no need handshake...that was fine with us.....so we enter then we sit down in the chairs facing all three of em! Not so scary lah they all...but all of them looked serious! There was tension in the room....then the chief doctor briefed about how the interview was going to take place....we all nodded! haha...OK another thing ! BRUSH UP ON YOUR BM!!! PLEASE...all YOU CHILESE AND INDIANS....we are already good in English but not BM!!...so better know your BM, in case you havent noticed, BM is the official language in Malaysia! The chief doctor asked us to introduce ourselves in English....so I started first...I started to blah blah blah blah blah blah (start with good evening, name, born and raised, education background, about father, about mother, about siblings, any working experience, co-curriculum activities and how it has given you good qualities, your ambition)blah blah blah....ok done! :)..I waited for the rest of them to finish......ok then BANG!!!! the next following questions she asked in BM!! 1) Langkah-langkah mengatasi masalah disiplin di sekolah.......ok I have to admit that was easy.....haha....I've did this before in my BM tuition as an essay.....I waited for the rest of em to finish...ok i forgot to tell you..during my time...there was no group discussions..like previous JPA scholars have wrote in their blogs....seriously! 2011 was a bit different....they didnt even ask us why we chose that course? weird rite? = =................then they were so kind to not actually direct the questions they ask to one of us.......all of us gave our opinions for the questions they ask..one by one! 2) Peranan sukan untuk membentuk individu holistik...........ok this question was intermediate....ok to those who dont know what holistik @ holistic is...its like being perfect in all aspects, not only academics but sports, our personality, manners all that lah!...I answered lah sports could blah blah this...blah blah that!....then suddenly one of the doctors asked me whether I was involved in any sports in school...I said yes..Badminton! Then he asked sampai peringkat mana?? Then I said....tak masuk pertandingan,main di sekolah saja!! (That was soooo embarasssing)....He chuckled a little..but I take that as a good sign...IT BETTER BE GOOD!....then my third question was 3) Peranan IT dan Media dalam teknologi perubatan....ok this was kinda hard......but I still crapped....hahaha....i said IT very important la....can know more about diseases and how to diagnose them....can key in patients ID......and all..(I answered in BM, ok.....if they ask u in BM answer in BM if you know whats good for you)...then the chief doctor asked whether we knew that the Selayang Hospital is a paperless hospital...everything IT ony....then all of chorused :TAK TAHU! .,.....HAHAHAHAHAHAH I was laughing so bad inside!! haha...actually the name of the hospital does ring a bell...but I didnt know what for...=.="...Finally she asked us in English..."Why do you want to go overseas?" I was looking forward for this question.....ok some tips to answer this question! NEVER TALK BAD ABOUT MALAYSIA.....come on people...if they ask you that question...dont say that you're gonna answer" I want to go overseas because I dont like to stay in Malaysia!"...HELLO!!! Knock! Knock!! Malaysian PEOPLE are giving you the scholarships ok....if you want to say like that lah...kiss your scholarship goodbye! They are actually gonna send the JPA scholars overseas as a representative or diplomats from our country to go and learn stuff overseas and COME BACK to Malaysia to serve for our country....they give you the scholarship you know...takkan you cant do a favour to the people of Malaysia by serving your own country........then dont sing the lines" Tanah tumpahnya darahku" laaaa....dont be a hypocrite!!....Repay our governments deed by coming back here to serve for the country...if u dont like the government oso at least do it for Malaysia!! We are all so gifted you know...to live in a soil so peaceful, free from disasters...nourished with food and heritage!.....pleaselah nowhere else out there is better than Malaysia! (Sorry for being emotional, haha)....So if they ask you that question answer wisely....dont just say whatever you wanna say.........before you wanna say bad about Malaysia. think twice and Zip Your Lips!......ok thats practically all the question that was asked by my interviewers. Before you go say Thank You doctors...and leave the room by NOT SLAMMING THE DOOR! ok....not to say you intentionally did it..but! = = 4.) After that, the in-charge outside will give you back your clear holders, take it and check whether everything is still there especially your IC's........then give 'em back your tags..and then you can go home! Xd Hopefully I can get the scholarshiplah....must just keep praying to God!.....I hope this blog has provided sufficient info for future interviewees out there..Good luck y'all..and God Bless You! Ciao..............................................!!

Next Step

Hey y'all!! Long time no post! Ok guys last I left this blog is when I bragged about all the blah blah blah's....allright. I received my results....SPM 2010 RESULTS!!!.....Okay here goes.....6A+ for Bahasa Melayu, Bahasa Inggeris, Mathematics, Physics, Chemistry aaaannnndddd.......jeng jeng jeng...BIOLOGY!!!! Finally.....I thank GOD for granting me an A+ for my Biology!.....4A for Sejarah(T_T), Additional Mathematics, Basic Economy( T_T) aaaannnndddd.........PRINCIPLES OF ACCOUNTS!!!! WOOHOO......I seriously thought I would flop my Accounts real bad!!! I did it that bad....and I thank GOD ONCE AGAIN for granting me an A for my Accounts!..and guess what?? A damning A- for my MORAL STUDIES! Like WHAT THE ????? Urghhh...so frustrated because Moral was in my A+ list....T_T but nevermind...its no use crying over spilt milk! I didnt bother sending in for rechecking.....because by the time I get my revised results...OR NOT-SO-REVISED results....the JPA fella's would have probably decided my fate!...Oh yeah I applied for the Jabatan Perkhidmatan Awam(JPA) scholarship for the medicine course. And luckily enough I have been shortlisted for the interview....and I would be going to Wisma Persekutuan Kedah somewhere in Alor Setar...and the time of my interview is 4.35 pm. I'm not sure whether thats a good thing or a bad thing...but I know whats worse!!! THE INTERVIEW!!!! Phooeeeeyyyy...I think my body loves adrenaline so much...that even more than excessive is not a problem...well thats for my body...not for ME! I have to get prepared for my interview like sooo bad!!!!.....So I think I'll end my post here.....my next post will be about my interview....Pray for me people! Hope it goes well.....

Ciao...............

2011........

I started blogging way earlier than this.....but its just that I havent been updating and seriously my posts were sick and childish....so I am determined to turn over a new blog. So, 2011 is here. Frankly, 2011 marks the silent end of my school life....(HATE YOU). But it definitely opens a new chapter in life. I'm not such an out-going person before...I never have been because I have a problem...and because of that problem ,I have very low self-esteem, and more than once I felt like dying. Yes seriously.........you may find me cheery and smily on the outside but you better not step inside where the REAL ME is hidden beneath midst of emotional outbursts and crisis.

But thats all gonna be over now....I have seen the doctor, and I'm on the way to see a surgeon and everything will be find after I have my surgery. I'll be back, to a new me, a me that I have always dreamt off, as normal as the other boys out there, cheery, fun, kinda grumpy, and blah...blah....blah....

Over these past few years I have struggled a lot. Since I was 12, I have always felt like an outcast even though I have friends like God damn it!!! .....Their more precious than the most expensive ruby in the world....and I have a best friend, a Malay........who seemed to be that bright red hue which shines like a million sun put together. Its kinda hyperbola but I have no other words to describe him.....I thank God for letting me meet him through my walk of life. I really miss school life and I kinda regret that I was not rolled up in the mess 100%. I was too self-centred...thanks to my "Little Problem". I will not repeat the same mistake ever again after my surgery. I promise to turn on a new leaf.

I have accepted to work in Central Square. Although it will be tiring, standing there like a lamp post for 8 hours without sitting...but on the long run I think it will be worth it...I'm also trying to change my entire look....gonna exercise like mad.....dye my hair...change my glasses to contacts..wait no..no contacts!! haha! Well, 2011 is not bad after all because I could sniff a wave of transformation that I will undergo before going back to my lovely school to receive my results....RESULTS!!!!!

I thought I did quite OK only for my SPM.....I mean better than my trials in terms of effort and determination of course...but could roughly say that I can get 7A+ in it...but thats not enough isn't it. To get a scholarship you need at least 9A+........and my Biology is not in the 7A+ list.....T_T. Sometimes I regret....I could have done better in my Bio.....I aspire to work in the Bio field you see, because Biology is my passion embedded in my erythrocytes like haemoglobin. I really hope God helps me....because I can only count on him to provide the best for me. MY ACCOUNTS!!!! IS SUCH A FAILURE!!! I cried after accounts you know....practically I just keep breaking down the whole SPM week. I didnt feel I was ready enough.....you see...in 2010....I realised time was flying quite fast and didnt think it would pull SPM nearer with only a hair-breadth of space. I planned to polish my Accounts after trials but I kept concentrating on other subjects until I screwed it in my SPM!!! AND I NEVER SCREW UP IN PUBLIC EXAMS!!!!! That was the worst feeling to date and my dream of achieving 11A+ just shattered like glass to stone.

Good thing I took an extra subject, Basic Economy, which I ONLY STARTED READING ONE WEEK BEFORE THE EXAM! Believe me or not, I did......I signed up for the subject in 2010. I never went for tuition, I never met the subject teacher....I took it for granted that it was easy and BANG!!! thats what I get! .....one week full of pain and torture....Thank God I did it better than my Accounts paper in SPM. But still Accounts had made a great impact and I swear I'll never pursue that field in my life ever again!!!!

Well, till the next post....Ciao!